Touching Down

Touching Down

I'm landing in this time, again

What can I say, it really hurts

No picture could describe it

Neither a million words

"I'm through with love, I'll never fall again"

Actually, would be the right thing now to say

It sounds dramatic, and it is, without kidding

My faith fell apart, fell hard, cruelly astray

There is nothing left for me in this life

Save my pitiful, such adorable me

If only one could understand

My chances would be free

It's even better to be black

It's even better to be gay

Haunted or impaired

But to live this way

You, God, upper above

Or where the hell so ever

You made me intelligent

Though not very clever

You want me to fight for righteousness

You want me to fight for the future

Is there anything to gain for me

Short of a continuous suture

The suture of that ole scar

That stigma, mark, cicatrize

The seam that makes me ugly

Without the rectification to fix

I am just a child or an animal

Standing before love to be seen

Why have you, oh, forsaken me?

Why have you, oh, been mean?

I've been through a lot, so much

I've suffered unbearably oft-times

I haven't been a sacred of an angel

Still. I have not committed crimes

Don't want you to feel sorry again

That already dwells for me to do

"Holy Spirit", do not forget me!

"Jiminy", bail me out of blue!

H.C. Thiesgen ( Behrens )

Thurs 24th August 2017

08:55 hrs. ( MET + )

One Of A Kind

One Of A Kind

Oh, why can't I just wish you straight to hell

Why can't I just stop giving you the words

Yes, why can't I just make you love me

When the absence of it simply hurts

Why do you have all those preferences

You know my preferences are you

Why can't I be proud without

You in my every day anew

Why do I fear to be proud anyway?

'Cause I fear to be arrogant at all?

That people use to think of me

Any way they want me to fall

You seem to be an exception

At some times you seem to care

Sometimes I feel security and sense

Feel to be treated benignly, jovially, fair

Why do I have to be even more far away?

Therewith you to be some more near?

Why can't you decide once for all?

Who are you? There and here.

I'm afraid that I will die all alone

Without a friend, or a dear, or a soul

I'm afraid that I never will be complete

That I will never embody an important role

Why do I appear stupid when I am in love?

Why everybody does romance, but not me?

Why can't I just count on you further on?

Why can't you just let it happen to be?

Why all these questions again?

Why can't I be a certainty?

Waking up every day?

As in you as in me

No, I can't wish you to hell, I need the breadcrumbs 

For to find and to follow my way again back home

You kill, eat me or save me, I'm at your mercy

Not anywhere near 'I'd rather be alone'

This usually works, this usually fits

Usually is my solution way out

Usually, it gives me power 

Usually, that's all about

I wish I could go

Leaving you behind

Wish you were and also

You weren't, one of a kind

H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens)

Saturday 5th August 2017

11:25 hrs. ( MET + )

'Friedenleben'

'Friedenleben'

'Friedenleben' ist das Thema

'Friedenleben' ist das zentrale Ziel

'Friedenleben' ist, was ich mir wünsche

Für dich, fūr mich, das ist eben nicht zu viel

'Friedenleben' ist, was die Welt eigentlich regiert

Darauf läuft alles in letzter Konsequenz hinaus

'Friedenleben' ist das Geheimnis das gelüftet

Alpha und Omega ist, das Ein und das Aus

Ich weiß nicht, wohin mein Weg führt

Aber ich weiß, da möchte ich hin

'Friedenleben', nahe bei dir

Wissend, wer ich bin

'Friedenleben', ach, nein

Das ist nicht nur ein Traum

'Friedenleben' ist ein Zustand

In Zeit, in Güte und in Raum

'Friedenleben' wird für immer

Meine wahre Herkunft aufdecken

'Friedenleben' wird meine Zukunft nicht

Nie mehr in sinnlosem Unterfangen verstecken

'Friedenleben' ist eine innere Einstellung

Durch Vertrauen, Respekt und Liebe gesteuert

'Friedenleben' ist die Mannschaft in Gemeinschaft

Von jener Loslösung für die Vereinigung angeheuert

Ich lebe Frieden, den Frieden in dir

Und Frieden lebt durch dich auch in mir

Das ist mein 'Friedenleben' dann und wann

Wenn ich nicht da und dort und nirgendwo bin,

... denn hier.

... es sei denn hier.

... es sei denn - 'Friedenleben' - hier.

H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens)

Thurs. 3rd August 2017

21:45 hrs. ( MET + )

Sounds of Silence

Sounds of Silence

Silence is the sound of what is based

On what you apparently now feel

 Matters you are experiencing

What appears to be is real

Not always is what you feel

Automatically, even all true

Neither as it simply brings

Celestial peace's to you

How can I escape the silence of my dreams

That haunt me without any word out of the night

Into the daylight's silence's of my own impeachment

Neither here nor there I seem to be able to make it right

Only my daydreams have some nicer touch

Are able to present me some lovely view

Although there is lots of noise around

This silence is refreshing to be new

Yeah, you, my silence of love and fear

Wether you're touchable far or deaf to near

You're the unavoidable essence of my being

The two and only things about to be clear

Oh, well, anything else? What about my words?

Are they the silence of my feelings from time to time?

Are they the silent bridge or a silent wall? Or even both?

Are they all honest whole-and holiness, or partially crime?

They say: "You find "God" in the silence, in the quiet, the calm."

But I also find "the Devil", the damnation to my past or fears

It all depends how I feel about you, how you make me feel

Or I'm the happiest being ever, or downhearted to tears

I know I have a choice, whenever I am, wherever I go

So you may be what I want it to be, my decision

The silence of goodness or badness, however

You are my most invisible kind of vision

Mingle with my silence, and we'll see

What sounds may turn music to enjoy

I hope it'll more silent than all the noise

That's called my silence without you, oh boy

By and large, both on the large and small scale

Your words are more silent to me than my stillness

You're sound of silence in affection, and your caring

Brings healing silence instead of the silence of illness

"You won't go any further, ...": you said.

"Without feeling your purpose and soul again."

Neither will I, my lovely one, my, you tell me, my dear.

Up until than hush, Baby!

By then you'll continue being

My favorite silence, love or fear...

H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens)

Thurs. 3rd August 2017

18:50 hrs. ( MET + )

More Than A Thing

More Than A Thing

Thank you for pointing out so lovely

All the good things you can find that I do

There's nobody else who does it, me including

That's one of all the reasons I have a fancy for you

But, it's not just a quirky mood, it's respect, kind of trust

It's a reality, behind and in front the mystery of now

More than a thing that happens then and again

Something, someone I depend on somehow

Without you, my life would be of no consequence

Without you, my life would be empty and stale

But roaming around like a motherless child

There never would be any wind in my sail

You keep me going, you make me stop

You make me want to be a better one

You are my idol, my ideal, my image

 My mirror I want to reflect more on

If I called you love, you'd run away

If I called you darling, you'd fear

If I call you whatever dearest

I won't ever have you near

Isn't it ironic, isn't it!?

The more I give you

The more you do

Seem to sue

However

I forgive you

Every time again

That's certainly true

Even if you don't want it

You're more than such a thing

You're not simply a lover, an affair

With or without sex, you're not a fling

You're definitely the sweetest thing in my life

Like the weather something I can't change

I take it the way it is, hoping for the best

Given the power of destiny to arrange

You're more than a thing, I guess

More than a thing, that I know

Stay with me, no matter what

Never ever let me or you go

H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens)

Thurs. 3rd August 2017

12:59 hrs. ( MET + )

The Thing is ...

The Thing is ...

All the time when I'm thinking
I actually have a friend in my life
There follows the experience then
There is no such thing for me alive

Nothing or nobody to count on, oh
Something or somebody to really trust
Anything to give me the feeling of reliance
One 'thing' or one who wants it, and no must

Where I can tell what my heart wants to release
And, won't get ridiculous any time, anyway
Where even when it is time to go away
More than that one wants to stay

Where I can be sure there will be
A tomorrow, with a presence again
With words, with compassion, with
An interest, a togetherness, a plan

Oh, how I long for a thing to continue
Be in my life, be remarkable, and be true
Oh, take this feeling of doubt and question
From me away, all the whatever way through

How many things can I survive altogether?
How many ways confront the sadness of drop?
How many times will I be kicked by the boulder
That makes its way back to me from the top?

How much more can I take in the future?
Without any backup, without a friend?
How much more will I be ashamed?
With my lonely ground to stand?

Does everybody has to be a thing?
Just because I simply may be?
Do I have been a deceitful
Self-aggrandizing me?

If it's true, please, condone me
Whoever may have paid the price
Please, unharness me with forgiveness
Without out it, I won't ever have any dice!

But, do I have been deceitful and self-aggrandizing
To me? To myself? To the very best I once have known?
Then I will need more than just a thing to help me forgive
Because I won't be able to do it all on my 'tod', on my own

And, God?! - I don't know if there's such thing
Or more than a thing, even a being, to say
Though if there's such something or so
Take this as my prayer, take it away!


H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens)
Thursday 3rd August 2017
11:55 hrs. ( MET + )

Incongruity

Incongruity

Maybe you are my goal to go for?

My subject matter, my degree?

What if my life was a waste?

Without loving you to see? 

What is it what really could happen? 

If we would just stop wondering around? 

Further going just for those superficial things 

Just one more Euro, or Dollar, one more pound 

What if we would skip the feelings of the past 

That becloud our routine, every day to day? 

If we just merged all the feelings ahead? 

Feeling something new right away? 

What if there was no further object? 

None other meaning, no else purport? 

When all the other plans or try-to-plans 

Were foredoomed to failure and to abort 

Does our lack of connection galvanize 

Misfortune, bad luck, or just defeat? 

Or the always running away from? 

Foreclose to get best things neat? 

I'm not much a high achiever or 'doer' 

All by myself, I just seem no good enough 

I'm lucky when I come along to some extent 

I'm lucky when time's not getting ugly or rough 

But I have this feeling, that we are meant to be 

Together, to grow, to fulfill, and to succeed 

I have the feeling that we complete us 

Each one has what the other need 

Having said this, we are hogtied 

Me in your silence, you in my words 

Eager but afraid to pass the bottleneck 

Frantic in alignment contra all that hurts 

Following some or even more illusions 

About ourselves, and what people should be 

Mired in layers of fear, worries, and complexes 

Being out of one's depth about how to break free 

There is a way, there is a sound 

To cultivate the weather's 

That rectify us likely 

To the ground. 

H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens) 

Wed. 2nd August 2017 

19:20 hrs. ( MET + )