Bloody Kill-Joy
I have never been independent
But, I've always been kind of alone
All I want is for me to make it up for it
All I want is to home straightway to home
I've lost everything to gain a little bit of myself
I've been lost 'n' found, and, lost 'n' found, for ever
I've been searching for connection, with no connection
I've been honest, but not fair, and, intelligent, but not clever
I'm sorry my child within that I couldn't give you what you needed
I'm sorry that I gave you hope just to disappoint you right away
Trusting people, time and myself with the love I never knew
Having all ever plans defeated in just defend and betray
I'm deeply sorry for beating you up in my despair
I'm awfully sorry that you never had a chance
I'm dreadfully sorry that I hurt your love
I've been a sorry-assed soul to glance
It was all too vaguely perceptible to me
What all your sweetness have been through
You've chosen your way yet over my dead body
Fair enough. I can't blame you. God bless you, too.
I miss you though. I miss your loyalty and innocence
Your happiness, and your way to see all the best in me
Guess, I've been green ware, lemon, from the beginning
Gorgeously shilling in an awesome wrapping here to see
I've failed you. I've failed a lot. Mainly, I've failed myself
I've failed even to fail as a last consequence, to the end
I have nothing to lose, more than ever, all by my own
It's so much shame, so much blame, a lot to repent
You, the child of my own, please, be free and fine
You deserve to get better, and make your day
You used to be my only sunshine, de jure
Your happiness only a heartbeat away
I've messed it up, I've killed
I've panicked in excess
I've been a disaster
Right. I confess.
H.C. Thiesgen
Tue 20 Sept 2017
01:33 AM ( MET + )
