Intimacy Blocker

Intimacy Blocker

The autism in me is trying to get rid of you

Just trying to push you not right away

I’m on my way to destroy the good

Today, you better help me stay

Ugh, I’m getting so tired

From living that again

This time it’ll change

This time I’ll man

Man enough to

Quit the fuck

Disconnect

Build it up

Build that

Confidence

And, connect

Save that light

And, rather react

I start it now to stop

To share what’s going on

I better stop so now to start

Preserving what uses to be fun

I will treasure it, yes I’ll take care

I will lock myself to keep you alive

I will be valiant, even if it’ll hurt

I do not want to lose the drive

I will not drop you this time

I don’t want to let you go

You are a chance to be

You are my destiny

You are my second day of life

Of “Mark Twain’s” famous quote

You are the body that fits the clothes

The message without leaving your note

There is no way that you won’t understand

That I am exactly what you’ll ever need

I’ll learn what it may take these days

Get back in the game, on my feet

I need you here in my heart

I need you here in my life

I need your need in me

Need you be my wife

You’re not the loveliest

You’re not even the best

Yet, you are perfect for me

An adequate shoulder to rest

I love you, I wouldn’t tell you

I love you, you wouldn’t know

I love you in an unlovable way

My expectations are some low

On the other hand, huge then

A mission impossible rhyme

Maybe you'll understand me

Saving yourself so just fine

Saving me along with you

Saving your own mirror

Saving now tomorrow

Killing just the killer

HC_Thiesgen

Sun, June 10th, 2018

01:07 AM (UTC+2)

What About Love?

What About Love?

What about love? - What about it?

Did I ever actually happened to love?

Am I capable of feeling compassion?

Or do I put it just on and pull it off?

Like a glove to touch things smoothly

Or just one to protect me from dirt

Like one to make me look finer

Or save me from being hurt?

Well, not really, because I've suffered a lot

If that's been some intention, it has failed

I struggled, I fought, I've been smeared

I messed up, I cried, and I derailed

But, do all these things really are about love?

Isn't love just perfect, just lovely, just good?

Isn't love the healing and the wonderful?

The miracle to be actually understood?

Isn't love something that lingers?

No matter what, nor how so?

A natural force, act of "God"

Always new even long ago

Isn't it that flame of the candle

That brings great light into the dark

That you take care of that painstakingly

The wishful walk hand in hand in the park

You are sweet. - You are forgiving.

You really want the best for me.

That sounds lovely, and great

Hopefully, it'll make me see

'Cause I don't ever want to be

The reverse effect, the final defeat

I want to be the rain for the rainbow

The cultivated fire to tender some heat

No more and no less, may it be love

Or any more illusion just to relive

It depends on the point of view

Still, it's light, to get and give

No matter if I ever loved

The next time will be the first

True when it allays such hunger

True when it quenches my thirst

True when it's not like it's been

As ever, on-again, off-again, and out

True when you make me laugh, yet again

When you make me, so do I make you, proud

What about love? - What about it?

Is an autistic person able to ever feel?

I say yes, just the ways of expression

Mis- state themselves as for real!

People think they know me, absolutely

But, how come when they don't understand

When sometimes even I myself can't find me

And, am all lost without a helping hand

What about love? - What about it?

I believe there is, there was, there will be

Don't know how, don't know when, or who

Yet it'll stem from and spring up out of me!

H.C. Thiesgen (Behrens)

Wednesday 26th July 2017

16:32 hrs. ( MET + )

Auto-Autist

Auto-Autist

Wo bist du, du Spiegel deiner selbst

Der Irrgarten erstreckt sich immens

Wo befindet sich der innere Kern

Deiner ach so wahren Existenz

Wann zeigt sich der Ausweg

Der dir die Freiheit offenbart

Wann erkennst du die Liebe

In Menschen deiner Art

Die Einsamkeit zermürbt dich

Versteckt dort tief in dir drin

Unfähig zu wahrer Nähe

In anderer Leute Sinn

Wer hat dich denn geschaffen

Du selbst oder Gott, oder die Welt

Limitiert inmitten jeglicher Mitte

Wie ein kalter Iglu in einem Zelt

Die Blicke fliehen und sie stöbern

Zerteilen sich an deiner Kuriosität

Ein Leben, dass nur sich selbst

Und diese Masse versteht

Da ist dein Talent

Der Pfad dort hinaus

Heraus aus dieser Öde

Hinaus aus dem Graus

Gott mag es sicher ersehen

Welche Wünsche dich plagen

Ich vermag es nicht zu wissen

Ich kann es dir nicht sagen

Ich kann ja nur behüten

Die Unschuld und das Sein

Was immer da verborgen ist

Im klaren Mondes Schein

HC_Behrens

January 8, 2009

[18:05 hrs]