The Best Of What I Am

The Best Of What I Am

My life seems worthless, without any sense

Doesn’t seem to mean any good old single thing

There are no family, no friends, no profession-to-be

No phone, with “happy news”, that ever happens to ring

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to live anymore

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to live at all

That doesn’t mean that I’ve not tried a lot

I still stand up and up when I fall

I am stable, dead certain

I am grateful as well

But, am I happy?

It’s hard to tell.

I could be, but, I’m not

I can’t be but am quite a lot

There are so many things missing

And, there is too much that I have got

The question is probably not what I’ve got

All the things or nothings that I may not

That “thing” is who I am or lack to be

I have a great story without a plot

There used to be so many “highlights”

So many good things to be told about me

Now it remains to be “complicated”, “intense”

“Too sensitive” – “Without good work to be free”

What can I ever be, to be loved

What can I do to be really seen?

What is there to be discovered

Who have I never been?

You say that you hate to go deep

Though my deepness gives you light

You don’t like to think before you speak

Though that’s the way it should be right

I don’t like my life like this

It doesn’t feel as it should

And I don’t like myself

Not the way I could

But I will go on

Simply as I do can

Make and get all me

The best of what I am

H.C. Thiesgen

Tuesday 20^th June 2017

22:25 hrs. ( MET + )